literature

Jacob's somewhat odd afternoon (Fan pasta :P)

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Literature Text

One day, Jecob and his two buddies had finally finished the last part to Sonic Round 2 part 3. Because of alternate universes, Gabe Newell destroyed their computer just as they all left, taking what was left of their left over party beer. Jacob goes upstairs to yell at his neighbors, but finds them too busy huffing paint and playing mario roms to notice him. Jacob decides to just use their bathroom as reading shit from JC makes a man need to take a shit. As he enters the bathroom, he can hear his neighbors playing Come as You Are on the blud whistle. Suddenly, Jacob hears a loud crash outside, with a red liquid seeping through the Real-D door, which he couldn't see without eyestrain vision. Rhe red liquid come pouring, in gallons upon gallons and Jacob's shoes got dirtier and dirtier. He realized, if he didn't get out, in would be permanent. He opens the door, the red liquid pouring out. He tastes the red liquid, surprised to see that it's actually Coolaid. He looks down to see Matt smashed through the floor again. "Is Toby...?" "Yes, again." Matt responded, sighing as he is pulled down. He looks over to see that his neighbors are gone, except for one who had a whistle stuffed down his trachea. He looked down the hole to see that Matt and Toby were gone as well. This escalated really fucking quickly. All of a sudden, Jacob sees a flash of something horrible on his vision. He wipes his eyes to find that it just Vicks Vapor rub. Tehn the flashes were real this time, and grammer start teh phal. Vortax open with Jacobs being sucked in. He is put in dark room, like any other creepypasta would. He can hear strang adn wierd things can be heard, things that sound horrifyingly familer. Then, like arock hits a window, he can hear a voice yell in his ear "OPTIMUS!!!" He blacks out, although it's just about as good as the dark room. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the middle of a empty city, his glasses becoming to hypo-realistic for him to believe they are real. He drops them when he hears an explosion for no reason. For what seemed like millions of years, there was silence after the explosion for no reason. A bloody, hyper-realistic squidward head rolls by as Jacob sits there in horror for no-screw this joke. A missile hits the squidward head, launching it with a trail of blood following it. "Oh hello!" Jacob gets up and runs away while occasionally saying "oh shit!" in his old man voice. The missiles weren't the worst part though, Jacob could feel a terrible presence behind the missiles. Missiles, missiles, missiles. He pulled a chav out of his pocket and used the douchebag to block the missile. There was a bit of silence while the chav was on the floor, screaming profanities, his one eye popped. Jacob's glasses regenerated out of his beard as he looked around so he'd actually be able to see anything. He sent them to eyestrain vision so he could see through the buildings. Again, silence...then lolololololololololol michael bay comes out of the wild rubble. He challenges Jacob to a duel to which he tries to refuse, but the playstation 2 tells him he has no choice, so jacob accepted. A pokemans battle commences and the two start to duel. Jacob used comical wit to try and lower his defenses. Michael douche bay didn't give a shit and used his insta kill move, bad cash in transformer movie that will be terrible but make lots of money.

Jacob wakes up back at the house, rubbing his head out of frustration. he can hear the TCV beating the shit out of matt like a sponge cake, which matt was probably eating. He causally rolls his eyes and leaves to see that his sonic.exe footage is gone...fuck...

to maybe be continued or some shit, I have no idea. :P
Welp this happened.
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